30 Mar 2010


damn you love songs for messing with my head!


3 tops - checked!
1 extra pair of jeans - checked!
*****garments - checked!

what else do i need..
do i need to bring extra head scarves?
well, not if im NOT going to jump into any ocean there.
so, no. i dont think im going to bring any extra.. i think.
and plus, im just going to be there for 2 nights..

where im off to u might ask..

NICE!!! :D

28 Mar 2010


when hope builds up. it builds up high.
when its high enough, you will feel very sure that you might get it.
but if you didnt, it feels like the world is crumbling down.
- the stone wall, the mountains..
in easier terms, the hopes built is now shattered.
but people say there is a silver lining in everything that we do.
i see it in some, but not so much in others.
and there's also a matter of choices.
so, we'll see how it goes.

and thanks for the bronze BEN BEN!
i know you guys are awesome.

27 Mar 2010

north east 5 a side

lets hear us chant together:



good luck guys!
lets slay 'em sorry a** and grab that trophy home!
and give us more reason to celebrate for the barbeque later on.

26 Mar 2010

soon? oh no!

graduation timetable is now out. yes. i am graduating this year. which i partly dread.. but partly anticipate.

but before that, there's this to think about. which is just a black dot i can't dismiss.

and then, before that, there's my final year project. which is no where near completion. thanks mr wright.

and then, financial matters - for shipping, graduation robe, graduation pictures..

but then again, there's greece, mama coming, europe trip. that's something to look forward to.

and then there's 23rd July 2010. a mixed feeling. definitely rojak.

24 Mar 2010

of Games and Holidays

a hectic week these past weeks have been. oh dear. with final year project work load - my dear supervisor had managed to make my workload even more than it should! - and birthdays, games, road trip. wowwee. i cant imagine working. the workload will be either triple or quadruple all this!

anyway, catching up with what happened and what didnt.

first, hanis's birthday! her 22nd to be exact, was on the 13/3. went over to her house around midnight and surprise her. and had a dinner thing at Rice and watched Alice in Wonderland. was an awesome day! and plus, the Scotts against English was a tie (RBS 6 nation). it was a good match, though i only managed to watch the final 30 minutes.

second, warwick games (14/3). it is the the first time EVER all 3 newcastle main team - Toon Army, BEN BEN and Librarian Army - team up together. but, the game.. sigh. crappy CRAPPY management. crappy craPPY CRAPPY referee. aih. horrible. but thanks to all ben2. seriously. i love you guys. :D but match summary, newcastle won 1, tie 1 and lose 1. so we didnt qualify to quarter (or was it semi? hurm) but all in all, it was a good game played, and a good trip, despite the strong wind, the weather was awesome!

third, cardiff games + road trip (19-22/3). now that was the highlight of this week! having decided to go 3 days before the actual event, this trip was actually a success! with 4 cars convoying, series of getting lost, and separated on the road, we had so much fun! plus, ben2 qualified pass the group stage, beating the other 2 teams 7-1 and 6-0. but we lost to Glenmorgan Uni's team... i would not want to comment more on this, because it was/is just very frustrating.

it was also the weekend of RBS 6 nation. and as i well expected and hoped, France won the Grand Slam title, beating England 12-10. though i must say they didnt win in style, but they won nevertheless! :D Allez les Blues!!!

and after all game-hectic was over, we did manage to go around sightseeing - Caerphilly Castle, Stonehenge and Cardiff Bay. awesome awesome time! and man, road trip never can upset me. thanks again to EVERYONE for the best cooperation and the remarkable time. we shall have another one of this again - DEFINITELY!

*5 more was not in the picture*

this coming weekend is another game, here in newcastle - the North East 5-aside. BEN2 is up for the challenge, and will win the newcastle 'cup' again! so watch out Toon Army and Librarian Army. the psycho war is now on! (LOL!)

13 Mar 2010

forgive me God, for i have sinned

it is the Muslim Awareness Week in Newcastle Uni, and it definitely had done its purpose.. well, to me at least.

all in all, i can sum up everything to this: my heart and eyes are now open. my mind is thinking beyond myself. and fear to the One and Only, is overpowering. repentance is a normal habit.. and endless.

back to the awareness week, i have to applause the Islamic Society for inviting all these awesome speakers, Yusha Evans and Abdurraheem Green, 2 converted Muslims, who, MashaAllah, have astounding knowledge of this religion that i was born and breed with. they are just mind blowing. never can anyone paint a picture of the apocalypse the way Abdurraheem Green did. not that ive really known about it before, but i did hear bits and pieces. it gives me this mixed feelings - fear and terror, and also excited and happy. but whos to know, if i lived to see the day that i'm going to be one of the Believers, and whos to say that i wont fall for what the Dajjal preached? Nauzubillah.

i have to say, i am no perfect human, let alone a perfect Muslim, but i do try my best to be one. there is actually no such thing as balanced. whatever you do, it is supposed to serve the road of Allah, and not for anyone else's satisfaction. the respect that the early generations of Prophet Muhamad (p.b.u.h) get is not because they are trying to acclimitise to the people of their time's culture, but they show this perfect culture for other people to blend in, and follow. but this day, these things doesnt happen. even if it does, there's only VERY FEW of those who practice it. indeed it is hard to start this, especially when we are already comfortable with the lifestyle we are living now, but simply by being aware of our action, and take small baby steps, insyaAllah, we can make this world a better place, especially for the Muslims. thanks to Yusha Evans for this share of knowledge.

jazakallahu khaira.

9 Mar 2010

flapjack yoghurt and cherry

Im sorry im bad,
im sorry you're blue,
im sorry about all the things i said to you
and i know, i can't take it back

4 Mar 2010

inspiration is colour blind

William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

a poem that lift the spirit of the great Nelson Mandela, the person who brings unity to all Africans - the blacks and the whites (with no intention on being racist). he is also the one man who have inspired the great Francois Pienaar - whom had led the South African rugby team to victory for 1995 WOrld Cup Rugby, againts the All Blacks.

one inspiring movie it is. thanks fieha for bringing us all along. and it is where i know all this. :P

3 Mar 2010


i have always been proud of my origin. i think it is my upbringing. thanks to mama and papa, i am proud to have this huge a pride for my language. my race. my school. my state. my country. and my religion. eventhough they may have flaws (but for my religion, i am the one who may have flaw), i am still proud to say:

i am a MELANAU.
i am from SMK AGAMA SIBU.
i am from SARAWAK.
and i am from MALAYSIA.
and i am a MUSLIM

but what people doesn't know, i am very sensitive when it comes to mocking all this. to me, mocking falls under these categories:
  • those who refuse to speak melanau because they are ashamed of it
  • or any that admits that they are melanau, but doesn't know how to speak melanau.
  • or just sarawakian, who doesn't know how to speak Melayu Sarawak.
  • or malaysian, who doesn't know or refuse to speak Bahasa Melayu.
  • or anyone, who doesn't know how to accept there is another language, other than your own.
these people do get on my nerves. seriously.

1 Mar 2010

of leto, mars and glasgow

JARED LETO. he is oh-so-handsome, except for the fact of his current hair style. dear god! why oh why, did u get THAT hair cut, hot shot??? i m disappointed, in so many ways!

this photo is taken without zooming. how awesome is that!

the matter of 30 seconds to mars 'Into The Wild' tour-concert. oh-my. my first time ever being in the standing area, and 5 rows of people away from the stage. and i tell u, it is one surreal experience. to see them up close, is DEFINITELY an uber plus. but, being squashed in the head, and barely breathing, and having mimie vomiting twice, is not so much of a 'plus'. but my my, for that split second, when the band was playing 'From Yesterday' which is one of my favourites from them, and the security guy was pulling me out of the crowd, and i crowd surf for that split second, and then, 15 seconds after that, me being 1m away from mr Leto himself.. my my, i feel super awesome! sigh. if only i recorded that moment.. :P

so finally, i had a walk around glasgow, and have a good sightseeing of whats worth seeing, though i must say, not much, but it is still a.. hurm. modern city.
having said that, for that 2 hours of sight-seeing, mimie and i have to pay extra 55.50quid for our train ticket, because apparently the ticket i bought is not an open advanced ticket. well, we were actually scheduled for 10.50am. but being so-smart as i know i am, i said, i can take the 12.50pm train, without having to pay for the consequences. but no no. boy, am i wrong.. so there goes our 56 quid, and my march money. man. im screwed.

all in all, although jared didnt manage to cover the awfulness, that is my weekend, but i am glad i went. but i do feel super sorry for mimie. yikes. all is my fault. :S